You can't special order awesome
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
