if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
