Nicole vs. Life
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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