ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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