I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
