At least make sure they are 18
Why
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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