dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
