Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
