Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
