I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
