Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
