so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
