Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
i believe in u and ur pee
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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