also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize