His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
