It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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