She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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