He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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