obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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