That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
