Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
