We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
