Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
