So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
