One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
