my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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