I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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