She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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