well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
