Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
