Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
