New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
