no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My penis needs a shock collar
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
