I'm lost and stupid without you.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
