is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
