I wanna bring you to show and tell
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
