Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
