it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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