He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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