I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
