Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So. Much. Porn.
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