Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize