My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Floor bacon is actually really good
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