what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
