New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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