Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
