So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
