I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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