There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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