I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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