if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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