If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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