My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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