Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I look better un-naked...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
