he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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