if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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