What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Mom said you looked used
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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