How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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