All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
