Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
