would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
