She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Congratulations! We have a period
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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