Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
