piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
