If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
