HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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