So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I came so hard my ears popped.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
