I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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