You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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