Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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