I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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