whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
