There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
