Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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