someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
