have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
