This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
is that a dick in a sweater?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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