just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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