u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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