we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
